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Border Collie Enterprises "So what's this Border Collie Enterprises nonsense, anyway?" I hear you asking. (No, really, I do--I have very sensitive ears) Well, this is a complicated question, matched with one overriding dilemma: do I want to lie to you or not?

Of course I don't [ed: I told him not to mention the time he spent musing over this and go with something more succinct]. Border Collie Enterprises is, simply enough, the front name I use for my Internet activities. It's not commercial, it's not incoporated, and it has nothing to do with starships and the fascinating and magical journeys embarked upon by their intrepid crews and fearless captains! No sir!

Nor, uh, does it have all that much to do with Border collies, if the truth is to be told. I like Border collies a lot, but I don't have one, and BCE itself doesn't do much with or for them (I should create a collie lobby group. After all, wolves have PACs, don't they?). It's just a name I like, that sounds vaguely (if stupidly) official, and that reflects my love of the dog. (Platonic love, damnit)

Border Collie Enterprises was founded in 2005 with the goal of promoting the agenda of Border collies, by which I mean promoting my agenda, as their self-appointed spokesman. Now in its 2nd year of continued operations, it boasts accomplishments both numerous and varied:

  • Telling everyone within ear shot how much the president likes Border collies
  • Sending out resumes listing "" as the primary contact address but not admittedly revealing what this stands for
  • Attempting to convince a Border collie owner that they were insufficiently appreciating collies
  • Spending one (1) night in county lockup; also, a thirty (30) day sentence (suspended)
  • Numerous posts on message boards, most of them having nothing to do with dogs
  • Overseeing an overwhelming annual discretionary budgetary authority of > $10
  • But less than $20

As you can no doubt see, BCE--with fearless and intrepid leader Alex Osaki at the helm--is well-poised to enter the 21st century (only 7 years late), speeding onwards to glory, power, wealth, and fame! If you'd like to join, check out how to contact! us today!

Founder, President, Sole Member